Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Page 394.

Dear Tin and Butch,

So I really just want to expound on this tweet of mine with you girls,

But as I reread some of your last posts (Butch; Tin), it turns out that we're all finally on the same page? I'm finally on page 394, you guys! (Sorry if I'm a little late to the *tea* party, but I actually thought I already know what I'm doing with my life, when it turns out I don't. Don't you just hate it when that happens--which is most of the time for me. LOL.)

Well anyway, you guys know what have recently been going on in my life, Tin especially. You can always refer to the A Witch's Brew "mini-series" (The Witch, The Brew) for a fun, rather cryptic, introduction. And as I write this, I guess I'm formally ending that chapter.

The witch's brew has lost its effect on me, and maybe that's a good thing.

For quite a while, I've felt comfortable in knowing what's going to happen next in my life, in what's going to happen in my *dare I say* future. I felt so sure in what I was doing because there could be a good future in it, somewhere I'd be safe. It was like being a witch who could not only make potions, but also foresee the future. I just didn't see the potions I were making to get to that future were turning sour.

I was so excited about what I could see in my tea leaves, that I missed seeing how much it's been hurting what is now--what is me. I was being sucked in again to that idea of being with someone--that idea of someone--that I was forgetting my idea of me. I became a "we", an "us", when I wasn't done being just me.

And the thing is, I'm good at making potions. Interpreting tea leaves was good for a while, but I'll leave that to Professor Trelawney because I may just be the heir to the Half-blood Prince.

Needless to say, I learned so, so much, more than I could ever imagine from reading tea leaves. I'm very thankful for that, but I'm afraid this is it. Maybe for now, maybe forever.


PS. Special mention to a new addition to the Bookclub who has yet to post an entry--Gilly! Don't worry, love. No pressure ;)

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