Wednesday, 27 April 2016

That Terrifying Stuff Called Certainty

Dear Eira and Butch,

Boy, am I glad that we’re all writing again! Not on a regular basis, no, but frequent enough to post entries on this blog every now and then. It makes me glad, too, that we have all come up with these insights just by trying to live everyday, if that’s not too vain or too obvious to say.

I totally agree with Butch’s previous post about settling. I know I ended up in unpleasantly complicated situations in the past for not subscribing to the delayed gratification school of thought. I’m glad Butch realized this about her career early on in her life… and look at the rewards you got in the end! Part of me envies you for what you have reached in life, but it’s the kind of envy that’s mostly proud of what you have accomplished.

Now I would like to take this time to write about my take on settling. Eira has heard of this story a thousand times, but I would just like to make an entry about it for my own reference and as a way of catching up with Butch. ;)

As you ladies may already know, for the longest time I had this fear of commitment when it comes to romantic relationships. There was a time last year when news about friends getting engaged and married freaked the hell out of me. I was scared for them, somehow failing to realize that they’re probably ready and were happy about their choice. I was not completely confident about their decision, but this is mainly because of my own fears brought about by years and years of romantic failures.

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Why People Should Never Settle

During one or two situations in our lives, we sure have settled for something instead of pursuing the better (preferred) option. We got the regular fries instead of ordering the large one. We purchased a pair of sneakers, even though we really wanted a pretty pair of pumps, just because it's more practical. Worse, we have settled for a guy  just because all of our friends already have partners and we're sick of being alone, forgoing that cute officemate we've been crushing on for the past three months.
There's no such thing as 'good enough'. Instead of holding out or waiting for something better, us mortals tend to settle for the things (or people) that are more accessible to us. We often forget the phrase "patience is a virtue" and grab the first thing that comes to us. We should always strive for the best, not better and definitely not good. In every aspect of our lives (whether it's finding a job or finding a partner) we should always choose what we REALLY want rather than taking what's already in front of us. WE HAVE A CHOICE.
If there's one thing that I always tell my friends, it's to never settle. All of us deserve the best in our endeavors, we just have to hold out and wait for the best  (which is surely) out there :)
I'm glad I remained true to this mantra. A month after graduation, I was already bored doing nothing at home aside from eating, sleeping, and reading my friends' tweets & status updates about their respective jobs. Little by little, a green shadow called jealousy slowly crept behind my back. It affected my self esteem, big-time. I was starting to believe that I'm not good/qualified enough (okay I was applying for positions which were totally un-DevCom). After seeking out jobs that weren't really connected with the degree I finished, I finally decided to pursue positions in organizations concerned with development work. It's tough yet funny at the same time since I'd show up in interviews then see fellow DevCom graduates who were also waiting to be interviewed. After a particularly depressing experience (which my mom noticed so she took me shopping just to cheer me up) I geared my ass up, determined to find and get THE job.
So what's the job? Something DevCom related, particularly with my major. You see, I was hell bent on doing either magazine or development work (very contrasting, I know). Since the former didn't really work out, I had my heart set out with the latter. I sent a lot of CVs (like a LOT) and only a handful of the firms responded. Although I was desperate for work, I wasn't desperate enough to go for a job which I know I'm overqualified for (HAHAHA SORRY). Likewise, I didn't want to accept a role which I'm not knowledgeable about. I have my pride. I am a product of one of the best universities here in the country; I've stayed under its wing since I was in high school. I wasn't going to work for just some job. I'm sure it was my ego talking back then but I'm happy that I've waited my sweet time to be able to get the post I know I wanted and I'm confident to perform.
And yes, it was love at first sight. The moment I read the job description I said, "This is the job." And that was it; I sent my CV and waited to see if they will invite me for an interview. After waiting for a grueling five working days (when in between I bought a new dress and bag for the interview I was confident I'm going to get), they finally contacted me and set an interview. And again, that was it. I answered all questions as honestly as I could and sold (figuratively) myself and my skills. My future boss emailed me at around seven in a Monday evening (which I hardly expected) and screamed my lungs out when he offered me the job.
So you see, it is true, true love waits. In my case, I got the job that I was really rooting for. I loved every minute of it despite the challenges and steep learning curve I faced. I enjoyed meeting a lot of people, travelling to new places, and learning about new cultures and sectors. I worked my ass off for that job for three years and three months before I decided to move on and broaden my horizon.

Remember, in all aspects of your our lives, we always have a choice. These choices are available so we can decide which of them fit our values and priorities best. They help us weed out the bad, and set standards for the good, better, and best. So for the interest of self-development and mental health -- never settle.


This entry was originally posted at last 2012

When was the last time I blogged?

Dearest Tin & Eira,

I may have been MIA for the last few months but always know you ladies are in my heart <3 

Last week, I attended a workshop on success story writing and packaging in the far away land of Mindanao (well it depends on your perspective, I guess). This would help the Agency's staff showcase stories of beneficiaries whose lives were uplifted through the support of its Programs.

Since it was a writeshop, we were encouraged (required is the apt term really) to write, write, and write some more. One of the outputs was a daily reflection. Here's mine for the first day of the training:

Excited and apprehensive, these are the two words that would best describe this day. It’s certainly a far cry from my usual Monday which is mostly mundane, manic, and full of heavy traffic. The day started off at an easy pace; despite the sea of new faces, the thought of isolation in a highland farm and living a provincial life for the next few days had a weirdly calming effect on me.

Prior to the workshop, I already googled Hoyohoy so I would have an idea about the place (I would not be me if I did not do this). What the search did not show, however, was the absolutely gorgeous view from the top. I was not ready to be confronted by such beauty! I won’t describe myself as creative, yet I was almost tempted to try my hand at writing a poem just to pay tribute to my surroundings.

That view though, right??
While the place provided a distraction, the workshop proper was inevitable. My anxiety level was slowly shooting up while hearing the outputs which we have to write. Yes, I was a communications major during my undergrad days, but I consider writing articles as my biggest weakness. To be honest, I have not written an article ever since I finished my degree four years ago. My so-called writing skills have been utilized for training designs, reports, and volunteer assignment description forms (in my previous work). That’s why when my boss told me that I will be participating in this training, my insides started tingling (and not in a good way).

Fortunately, the facilitator's comforting words about the ongoing mentorship throughout the duration has eased at least some of my worries. Despite my insecurities, the knowledge that there are people who will be coaching us is very encouraging. Suddenly, I’m keen to update my writing skills.


Humblebragging rights: My success story article actually got chosen as the best one at the end of the workshop :) This serves as a big reinforcement to me as I'm very insecure about my writing. It also made me think that I might actually be good at this, hence, the decision to go back to blogging.

That's all for now. Hope I can keep up with updating the blog!!