Friday, 26 June 2015

"Assholes" are people, too!

I am writing this entry not in the “assholes”’ defense, but to put a certain mindset in a new perspective. I’ve been inspired to write about this after a talk I had with Eira on Holden Caulfield and generally people who are going through their angst phase. These people may have been us, too, at some point (I know I have).

You know what I hate? I hate it when people call other people who have caused them pain or mistreated them as “assholes” or “bitches” and actually believe it. I mean, I am guilty of calling people “assholes” or “bitches” when I’m pissed at them, but that’s just me being human, trying to cope by talking ill of other people for a moment. But at the end of the day, I’d still know that these people are just doing what they think they have got to do to protect themselves and everything else that they consider their own (status, position, material possessions, loved ones, time, etc), or that they’re just going through something, trying to figure themselves out, and it just so happened that you’re getting in their way. It’s not that people would mean to hurt you just because of who you are. You just happen to be there. You just happen to affect their goals negatively that they tend to be mean at you. It’s not something you did, it’s not because of whatever you’re made up of…it’s because of the circumstances. Aren’t we all just trying the best we can to make things work?

That lady at the office didn’t mean to snap at you because she’s mad at you. Hell, she didn’t even know who you were. She snapped because she’s exhausted and she didn’t like what she’s doing but she’s gotta do it for her kids who were, by the way, waiting for her to come home 'cause they rarely spend their time with their momma (not to mention the amount of unfinished homework they needed help with). But would the heavy traffic in EDSA make it easier for her to get all the rest she needed and all the time she could spend with her family? You betcha right it wouldn’t.

And it’s not just with strangers we encounter everyday. Disappointments like this can also happen with the people who we thought we could trust. The people who we thought will never bring us down. I know that feeling too well. And even though I’ve already believed that people aren’t, like, after me or plotting evil schemes against me, it pains me every now and then to think that some people who were really close to my heart caused me this kind of hurt. But I have got to thank J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye for reminding me of what it’s like to feel lost and confused and having no purpose in life. A lot of us who’s read the book can see ourselves in Holden Caulfield. But if you really think about it, Holden Caulfield didn’t seem to be much of a pleasant person. Which is why a lot of the people that he talked to felt uncomfortable around him in one way or another. But since the book is in the first person point of view, we also realized where Holden Caulfield stood. We know that he didn’t mean to be an unpleasant person. He just happened to be in an unpleasant situation, and it’s significantly affecting his behavior.

Of course, people are still accountable for their own actions. I guess this post is just my way of reminding myself that it’s not our fault when people let us down nor should we take it so much against them when they do us wrong. I'm not saying we should let them step on us and continue to disappoint us. It is just a reminder that we're all different people with different needs. The most that we could do is to stick with the ones whom we share the same outlook in life with and nurture our relationships with them, and be thankful that we're lucky enough to have found them.

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