I wasn’t that productive today. If anything, it was quite the opposite. It was a rather lazy Saturday, and I thought that that’s okay. After all, it is the weekend. I’m gonna have to work on my library research on Monday though. Otherwise, your mom would kill me (haha, no, not really, but she’s been kind enough to let me take her class on such a late notice and it would be ungrateful of me to be causing her any trouble).
I totally get what you mean about being the one who always tries to reach out. Okay, so I cut some people out in the past, too, but that’s only because the relationship was already getting dysfunctional and unhealthy. I would rather cut people out than stay in a relationship just waiting for the day that I would want to strangle the person in their sleep. But, unless there is a reason other than proximity that would push me away from a really close friend, I'm not one to lose in touch with them and, if anything, would even try to keep in touch constantly. This is what I like most about you, Ate Owen, and my other bffs. I know that I overthink a lot and, at times, we disagree (the movie On the Job is brilliant; that is a fact) and I may often get impulsive and foolish. Despite all that, you still stay and put up with me. And I really appreciate that. ‘Cause, honestly, I don’t even know if I can put up with me.
And, and I hope that you won’t beat yourself up to it. You always try, Eira, I know you do. To be a good friend, the best friend anyone could ever have, to be a proper functional adult, to be the best version of what you are. And if things don’t go out as planned even after you put so much love and effort onto it, or even if you don’t, please know that you’re already enough. You are so enough. And to the people who don’t see your effort on trying to connect, they may have their reasons--reasons like they may have forgotten, because life is changing so fast, they can barely catch up, they get so preoccupied about holding themselves together. Everyone is doing the best they can.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about going in and out of romantic relationships, it’s that you can’t let too many people in your life, for there are only very few of them that you can trust your life with, people who would truly care about you, not just because you’re the only person around. And those are the kind of people I live for.
I guess given the time we have spent together, you already know where I’m getting at. So, enough of my gibberish. I’ll just end this post with a song by The Maine. 'Cause we really need to quit throwing up in taxi cars...
Love and cheese,